My reaction to 99% of peoples Facebook status'
Why I Love My Mother
Politician at door: (blah blah blah)...and my strong commitment to traditional family values, as my wife of 28 years will attest.
Shade's mom: Sir, I don't care if you have orgies every Tuesday night so long as you get your job done.
Shade's mom: Also, if "traditional family values" is a sneaky way of saying "anti-gay marriage stance," you should know that my daughter is bisexual, and if I never get to cry at her wedding because some law you passed made her wedding illegal, I will personally see that your wife of 28 years has a lesbian awakening in time for you to discover the virtues of traditional divorce.
Politician: ...you have yourself a nice day, m'am.
fuckeli: plot twist: the queen locks everyone in the stadium and shouts “happy hunger games”
me: you are so fucking annoying can you please CONTROL YOURSELF
emiixlouu: where is anne hathaway and the flag of genovia
wingaardiumlevi0sa: there were 7 billion pieces of biodegradable confetti, to represent each person in the world. out there, in London, in the Olympic Stadium, there is a piece of biodegradable confetti dedicated to me.
Take that Beijing we just threw our royalty out of a fucking helicopter
That moment when you see a random hottie and you...
sodamnrelatable: via sodamnrelatable